Sometimes people seem to narrow in and discern only with communities of a particular spirituality, like they may look primarily at Dominican communities or something like that. Other people seem to land in a community without first discerning the spirituality specifically. What do you think of this? Is it important for someone to discern what spirituality they may be called to?

How do people know which spirituality may be most fitting for them? Is there a difference between "liking" or enjoying a spirituality and being called to it?

May I use charism instead of spirituality?

I was greatly attracted to the charism of the Dominicans when I entered the Church two years ago. Specifically, the use of the intellectual life in the apostolate was greatly appealing to me. I also was very attracted to the holiness of St. Dominic and St. Vincent Ferrer. I discerned with the Dominicans for a year until I finally realized this was not God's path for me. I began discerning with the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate because I was looking for a non-monastic community that was greatly devoted to our Lady and intent on imitating the founder very closely. Then once I put a foot forward to look into them, the Immaculate snatched my whole being and has not let go yet (even if I kick and scream)!

Ave Maria!

Thanks, CCB.


I wasn't sure what word to use, and I know "spirituality" isn't a perfect fit. The only reason I didn't use "charism" is because it can get so specific to each individual community/monastery/whatever, and what I'm really interested in are the larger categories, like those I named in the thread title.

That is a very good point.

Your post actually made me think, though, that perhaps it's a bit short-sighted to think about the Dominican/Benedictine/etc categories in isolation of the individual charism of the community.

Again, though, it does seem as if a number of people discern only or primarily with one of those major groups. I'm not discerning like that right now, which I think is fine, but I am curious about the topic and about how people discern which spirituality/charism is most fitting for them. How do people know whether they're called to be Franciscan, for example, as opposed to Carmelite or Benedictine?

Sometimes visiting is the only way to know and figure things out.

And here I thought this was going to be followed by

"walked into a bar"

Here have a puppy.

Cute puppy.

Yeah, I guess I know. Just trying to look for easy answers.

Discernment of vocation is a multifaceted issue. A man or woman must look at the gifts and talents that God gave them and at their own inclinations and desires. It is therefore important that the candidate know himself. Secondly, it is important that the candidate be open to the ways God is "speaking" to them in prayer and in life. Most often, God uses very ordinary means, and the religious community that one belongs in is "near at hand." Most often, the candidate finds his community by looking in his diocese, school, or other community.

The "spirituality" and "charism" of a community are important, but discernment regarding them is less an intellectual exercise than a practical one. The man who is not above average intellectually is probably not called to be a Dominican or a Jesuit. The man whose prayer is mostly private, and for whom public liturgical prayer is a trial, is probably not called to be a Benedictine. Beyond these sorts of considerations, one has to visit and to get to know the community in person. If I can use an analogy: a young man might spend years imagining the perfect wife. He could decide what color hair he is drawn to, what skin tone, what height, whether she is funny, sociable, bright, etc. But at a certain point, he just has to meet women! Real women, not paper descriptions of women. And when he meets "the one" he knows! Maybe not immediately, but he will know. And he may well find that she isn't exactly as he was picturing the ideal wife to be. The same is true of religious communities, which are real, people filled, breathing and spiritual communities. When I was searching, one old Benedictine gave me great advice: "Go where you like the men," he said, "after all, you are going to have to live with them."

Thank you, Father. I like the comparison of a man searching for a wife on paper versus meeting women.

I guess I should visit and discern with a wider variety of orders. I've visited two Franciscan communities thus far (it's not like I decided to only visit Franciscan communities; it just sort of happened that way), but I still don't know whether or not I'd be called to a Franciscan sort of life. Maybe if I see other orders, though, it would become more clear.

I've wondered about this quite a bit. Do you think proximity to where you live really matters that much?

I understand how it would have mattered more in the past, when people customarily stayed close to home, but today Americans travel easily and frequently. In the community I was visiting last week, I think that about half of the solemnly professed nuns had a prior connection with the monastery or were from the area, and about half were from other areas. Among the novitate and below (which is just a few people), none of them came from the area.

There aren't many female religious communities near my home or college, which means I've been looking in other places around the US, usually off of recommendations. I sometimes do wonder, though, whether it makes sense to think that God would call me to some random location, but then I come back to the fact that there aren't communities that interest me near where I live, and I do know religious who joined orders far from home. Sooo, I don't know.

There are certainly advantages to being called to a community that is not close to home. One of them being you will face less distractions from relatives. I am not primarily speaking of parents and siblings here, but other relatives and friends while you were in the world. This was a big stumbling block for St. Teresa ov Avila before her second conversion. The Lord showed her the place in Hell reserved for her if she did not give up a chaste attachment of a relative (presumably male, or the authors would not mention that it was chaste).

While parents might be willing to travel long distances to see their child, more distant relatives and friends don't have the same incentives.

Speaking of Franciscans and religious communties far from home, you could always go to England or Italy to visit the Poor Clares of the Immaculate!

Note: I greatly hope they will establish a community here in the US in the near future.

Ugh, please don't open up my discernment to the world at large. That's the last thing I need. I'm working on narrowing, not expanding.


(I think it would be very difficult to join and persevere in an order in another country unless you were very familiar with the country or there were a number of other Americans with you. The same issue can arise if you go to a community in an area in the US with a significantly different culture than what you're used to.)

Do you think the difficulty would be as much of an issue in a contemplative community? For instance, I am not sure it would make much difference if one entered the Carthusians in Vermont or the Grande Chartreuse in France.

Ave Maria!

I think it would still be a very difficult issue. It could even be more of one. For example, a Sister out teaching during the day or a friar ministering at a church will have the opportunity to learn about, get used to, and adjust to the culture. In a cloister, there's less opportunity to "figure out" the culture, so while she may get used to how things are done, I think a lot of it would remain alien for a greater period of time. There also could be less leniency and tolerance if the religious in the cloister aren't used to dealing with cultural misunderstandings, whereas religious with apostolates likely run into situations with foreigners relatively frequently. Oh, one last thing: religious with apostolates can likely meet and find kinship with other people from their country. In an enclosure, obviously there's isolation, which I think in this case could lead to serious and even destructive loneliness. (And then there are surely ways in which being in a foreign country would be more difficult for an active religious than a contemplative.)

Anyway, I know it happens, but it's not something I feel at all drawn to consider right now.

P.S. I don't think canon law allows for aliens to enter the novitiate of any institute.

If anyone else has thoughts about the proximity question (see my response to Fr Matteo), I would be very interested and appreciative.

In the monasteries I visited, there were men from all over the country and indeed from other countries even.

I think it also probably depends somewhat on what type of life you're discerning. In our day and age, if you are discerning a truly contemplative or monastic life, you will most likely need to do some traveling.

Thank you, Bonny. So would you say that learning about a community online or via general recommendation is legit (for lack of a better term)?

It's just that I hear about people joining the order from their school or their church or that's down the street, and that sounds like such a nice, Providential call. But in my particular case, there isn't any kind of order at my school or parish or anything (and obviously not a contemplative community).

I know I've gotten my own thread off on a tangent, but this is a question I've had for a while, since last summer or something, so I am glad it came up.

I can't think of any reason as to why it wouldn't be right or legitimate.



I don't think you have any reason to feel bad about discerning with communities that are not very close to you. We need to go where Our Lord is leading us, whether it is near or far. In the lives of the Saints reading plan, St. Peter Damian was expounded upon by the Holy Father. St. Peter lived the monastic life from an early age and loved it. But in Our Lord's Providence, he was not only called to leave his monastery, but to even leave the monastic life itself far behind when he was appointed Cardinal Bishop. He was called to do something that was not near or familiar to him and in addition it was not something he even wanted. But it was Our Lord's Will for him.

Anyway, Our Lord does call people to what is near and familiar to them, but He also calls people to places not near or familiar too. If you are one of the latter or you think you're one of the latter, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.